party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Operation Purity has been aborted
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
