He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
