I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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