he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
