I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
