My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
