That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
