I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
