all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
