She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
