oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
