& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
