Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
