My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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