ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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