i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
