We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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