i love accidental penises.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
