what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
