He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
