I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she smelled like a LAN party
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Randomize
