that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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