Kiss
Puke
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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