Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
