It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
