ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
