Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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