i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
