Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
The adults are the big ones right?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
