You're so nebulous sometimes
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize