More tranny stories later!
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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