Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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