Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
