Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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