There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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