guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
