I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
