Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
