did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Randomize
