sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
