Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
