Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I understand Curling. That high.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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