don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
