Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
