do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
