if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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