giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
