yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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