I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
