hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
