i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
