I faked an abortion last night.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
