some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
