She said her name was "party"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
