i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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