Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
