whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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