wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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