Hey man sorry I got all grabby
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
