It's like God shit irony all over that family
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Randomize
