I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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